Screw all the nay-sayers! They obviously do not love you as I love you.
So you have a hard time makin’ decisions?
Well…since you are my professional football player dream husband?
I can help you with that.
Don’t know what color to wear?
Honey, you look good in every color.
Don’t know if you should wear a uniform or not?
Darlin’, if you’re not wearin’ a uniform? You should be wearin’ nothin’.
Worried bout that bum ankle?
Sweetheart, if you get hurt again? I’ll take such good care of you you won’t even be missin’ football.
Want another Superbowl ring?
Just stick with me and I’ll be ringin’ your bell.
Not sure if you should buy the new tv?
We don’t need no stinkin’ tv!
Worried bout missin’ trainin’ camp?
Don’t you worry your pretty little head bout that. I’ll take care of all the trainin’ you’ll need.
Wonderin’ how to let that other woman down easy?
I’ll just kick her ass.
Just you remember, honey…any little problem y’all have?
I’ll be fixin’ you up in no time.
Sendin’ you all my not creeper-stalkerish love.